Very early...

Too early. I should be sleeping, but as you can see I am not. This has been a stressful week thanks to yours truly, me.
I am messed up and I don't know how to unmess myself. *Sigh* I have this problem of pretty much expecting myself to fail, bad habit, never get into it if you can help it. That habit leads to a debilitating fear. The fact that I know what is hurting me has not helped...I want to change and yet I think that it is going to take a very long time to change. Is it a bad thing that I think that or is it just realistic? What do I do with myself in the meantime? I need to find a way of looking at my days and life positively.
I suffer from the too much and not enough thought process. This process being I am too much of a bother for people and I am not good enough to them.
So many things in my heart need to be fixed and I don't know where to start... I don't know if I've ever said truer.
So I just asked Susan "Where do you find confidence and how do you fight fear?" Her answer paraphrased was, "Fear and confidence are often connected and what you do is to take things in small steps." (This is very paraphrased, but is the essence of what she said)
Hmmm... how to take small steps? I suppose I will need to think on it.