Thanksgiving

I am so jacked up right now I don't know what to do with myself. The new job and looking at an apartment has me nearly bouncing off the walls. But that is not specifically what I am writing about right now. I look back at my life and I see people, people who have reached out to me with their hearts. I have not always been the most gracious friend (I think I could stand some more lessons in the how to be a good friend department). So I am writing here Thank you. To Susan and Steve for not only letting me rent a room for almost nothing, but doing it twice and loving me through all my ups and downs. To Katie, Alena, and Ally, I could not have dreamed of better friends. Of the greatest gifts in my life I count you among them. To Mom for all those years ago when you gave me to God, no greater gift can be given than the love God has for us. To my Father who taught me that loving and liking were two different things and that forgiveness can heal through the greatest hurt. To those I have not mentioned I hold you in my heart, think and pray for you often and hope that the future brings us better friendship and a greater understanding of each other. The last will be first, so to God goes my greatest thanks, he has pursued me and romanced me my whole life even when I have turned away. To the one who will never give up hope in me I give my life and heart.
Why I needed to say all that I do not know, but thank you for listening.

War!

I feel like I have to declare war on myself every time I need to do something, but don't necessarily want to do that thing. I'm sure this happens to some degree with everyone. The errant pill taking I mentioned on Facebook is part of the reason. Because I have dysthymia (it's a type of depression, look it up it is kind of interesting) everything is harder for me. I will not blame my disorder for my mistakes. I am the one who has chosen not to fight. I am determined, though, to find my life! It's out there, the one God wants me to live. I am not so good on the asking for help thing, I am learning though.
I have checked out from the library "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" and am currently reading and trying to apply it. I am going to hang on to my hope for all it's worth. My counselor is right, I've been through and survived far to much to let life defeat me now. I also have to say thanks (which I do far to little of) to my friends and family which have helped and supported me along the way. You know who you are!